bouché

"What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself!"

— A. P. Chekhov

State of post-drunkenness slash extreme exhaustion from last night party.

I woke up with a terribly aching body, but the birds are chirping outside and I could hear the steady sloshing sound of the water from the pool and the sun was shining warmly and I thought today would be a fine day to actually rest.

But then Dad suddenly barged in into my room and told me to go get some breakfast and get dressed for the PTC. ARGH!

I should've known that I would never (ever!) get some peacefulness, ever!

So, anyway, I did as told (after falling asleep once again and Dad had to barged in once again to woke me up, again!) and we went to school.

Ms Remy didn't say much to my dad, (which is a good thing, thank you Ms Remzz~) and, apparently, I didn't 'exceed the expectations' of some of my subject teachers and so they put me in the "Meet Expectations" category in the report card and my dad got so pissed because of that and he started to give out lectures about how with this kind of grades, I would not even be qualified to enter the local universities, let alone to apply overseas.

It's kinda my fault that I can't stop blabbering about the top 100 unis in the UK and how I want to get into one of them and now Dad is being overly-concern about my future-study when college is still like 4 years away from now.

Anyway, I'm still kinda pissed about having to hear Dad's lectures and how he said that I'm too average and I need to step up my game or he'll have to give me tons of tuitions.

Seriously? I mean my report is not that bad, right? Gahhh, this totally ruined my mood.

Oh, and now that my birthday is two days away, I'm not really expecting anything after this report accident. In fact, I'm actually wating for my parents to drop the bomb, which is not letting me to go to Bali for vacation, because I get awful marks on my Term 1 report.

Pool Parti

Imagine throwing around thirty excited and hyperactive kids in a pool and see what they're going to do.
Now multiply that thought by a hundred and you'll get the idea of what had actually happened this afternoon in the backyard pool of my house.

There were soaking kids playing water fights and throwing each other off their backs in the pool, some other are pulling their mates and launch them off into the water, and there were pizzas and chips and sodas everywhere and everyone was screaming and yelling and laughing.

This went on for like a couple of hours before some of us called it quit and everyone finally got out of the pool. I swear if there was no one who had the initiative to do so, the riot would go on for as long until everyone is tired enough to almost pass out.

I've never actually been to a pool party before so I can't really know if mine was a success or a fail, but everyone was having such an epic time and whether it's a fail or not, a party is still the best way to end this crazy term.

Cheers for the one-week break and the soon-to come Term 2!

Now all you peeps go home and get some rest before all of us could actually catch a flu. Seriously!

 Once again, most pictures are from Kat! Thank you a whole lot for bringing your precious camera to the partay ;D and also to everyone who actually managed to at least take a snapshot with it :p

Broooooo!

Pictures are Kat's. I just brushed them off a bit.

So yesterdayyyy the girls were acting pretty much super suspicious and Yen, Gath, and moi (which apparently have their birthdays on the first week of October!! Cheers to that!) were, of course, clever enough to suspect something. Coz we smellz something fisshyy, ritee??

Anyway, Veren was being the most suspicious at the very last second since she just would not let me go home. And then me, gat, and yen were running away from them since they were so creepy and all that and let's just say that before we could reach the school's lobby there were familiar girls coming from all over the corners of the school and Sha was holding a Clover bakery cakebox on her hand and they started to sing Happy Birthday.

We did suspected a birthday cake, we just didn't see those cute little cupcakes coming. Especially not with the ones where they put our ridiculous faces on top of it, scratch that, it's my ridiculous picture.
So, anyway, me being a weirdo, decided to not eat the cupcake since it was too cute (oh and, fyi, it is sitting nicely and perfectly untouched in the fridge. I wonder how long does it take before the cake starts to rot)

But much much arigatoo to the crazzzyy girls who had came up with this idea.
And Alice, you're so not fun for not joining us :(

PS: wild pictures from this afternoon are coming soon.

Birthday Layydiesss

I can't believe I have to attend another funeral after only a week from my first one.
It was too surprising and I still can't believe that it will happened anytime soon, especially with the body of my grandmother had just been buried this Monday. And now we have another funeral a week after that. It's like God decided to rub salt on our fresh wounds.
And meanwhile, with mom & dad being busy and practically are out of the house for almost 24/7, I have to sustain myself with sandwiches for like a few weeks now. Since that's all that we have in the fridge: bread and jams. Lots of it. And with the lack of nutritions and vitamins, I could feel my body practically dying and I now catch a fever and flu and cough almost regularly. And I had never get a cough for almost three years now!

Sunset In A Cemetery

" Neurotic, ha!"  I let out a scornful laugh. "  If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive and another for the rest of my days."
Buddy put his hand on mine.
"  Let me fly with you."   - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath "

source: tumblr

This week has been an unbearably insane one.

I still can't comprehend the fact that they just buried my own grandmother this Monday. And for the past few days I kept on dreaming about how the wet and worm-filled soil is treating her down there. It wasn't actually a nightmare, but not a good dream either. It's just like that dream that all of a sudden came up to you at night because you can't stop thinking about it when you're awake.

And I thought with me being absent for two days in school, I would have miss a ton loads of lessons. But instead, I found myself in a state of utter boredom and clearly un-panic just two hours after I arrived at school on Wednesday.

And then of course, as if my raging-teenage-hormone-filled life would not be complete without it, a creature of the same species of the opposite sex is currently on my mind for the past few days for 24/7! The last thing I want right now is to face another middle-school drama and get hurl back into a state of heartbroken. Again....
But the feeling is too mutual and unbearable.. I ... can't ... stop... And to whom it may concern, god, you had no idea!

Oh, and, um, to a/some particular girl(s) in my school who think that I actually care about them and their lives and all that dramas: ef wai ai, nope I don't give a piece of freaking shite on your lives. I've got mine to concern about so I don't think I could actually spend some time trying to care about yours let alone to be concern and talk about it. Kayyy.

Anyway, picture from last afternoon:

See the rest of it in Sasha's blog here :)

Now, I'm just gonna go watch the new season of Vampire Diaries until the sun rises back again. I'm still pissed that Stefan is now out of the scene,, which means less Paul Wesley-hotness. But Ian-Nina is just too cuteeee so I think I could still manage until they finally find out where the heck is Stefan.

Ciaoh!

Le Temps Perdu (Finale)

I am sad,

You're not there


When he screamed his lungs out
And she cried your name aloud
They all wept in sorrow
You're not there


A thousand souls shed a tear
Girls in black hide their fears
The stench of grief in the air
And you're not there


And when I blow out my candles
Go far away to strive and dream
And meet someone I'll love forever
You will not be there


So when the case is shut
The world stop spinning reversely
Everything come so clear
You're not here


You're save in His arms up there

But we'll meet again, soon.

Sincerely,

a granddaughter

Happy Birthday

Circa '98 (Mom, me, & Grandma)

 

Bon Anniversaire, Mamma!

 

I know it's hard to watch everyone broke down into sad tears on your own birthday, and Mamma I love you so much for holding on.

I'm trying to cheer up the day itself amongst the midst of all of these havoc and fights. And a blind man leading the partially blind, I'm trying to make you understand when I myself have no idea on what's going on right about now.

Much kisses and love from your stupendous (-ly in every way) daughter,

I hope you understand.

Mmuaahh!

 

Le Temps Perdu

I was crazy,

Lay me down on a bed made of wounds

Inject me with sugar and sweets

I'd inflate but I wouldn't mind

Just as long as you're there

Whisper me names or throw me gifts

You were once a walking spirit

I'd get hurt but it's never not find

Just as long as you're there

Death once had made me fall deep

Death twice who knows if I'd climb up

Death thrice I'd better be too

Not if you're there

Faux air won't ever be real

But it's harder to press the button

Much harder to watch the view

But then you're still there

That told me, give up

This told me, hold on

Those told her, don't stop

Everyone's here, I know you're there

Crumbs fell into black bitter pool

Disinfectant slathered my shaking hands

Eyes are swollen, mind is numb

And I'm still here

I hope you are there.

Sincerely,


Messed-up mind

bouquins

"Reading alters the appearance of a book. once it has been read, it never looks the same again, and people leave their individual imprint on a book they have read. once of the pleasures of reading is seeing this alteration on the pages, and the way, by reading it, you have made the book yours." - Paul Theroux

Eversince my last encounter with the beautifully hilarious words of Paul Murray in 'Skippy Dies', I haven't had the chance to experience the same pleasuring euphoria feeling I got when I was reading the book.
'The Girl With a Pearl Earring' by Tracy Chavelier was a bit more than alright since it makes me want to hop into a plane to Amsterdam and get into the Rijsk museum once again just so I could observe the Vermeer paintings much more closer this time. 'Unbearable Lightness' by Portia de Rossi was very heart-breaking and healing at the same time. And 'The Secret Annexe' by Anne Frank - which, for me, is more like a spin-off version of 'The Diary of A Young Girl' - was okay.
But none was amazing, alright. So a couple of days ago I decided to order some books that I've been dying to get my hands on for the past months. And now I've been counting days before the package will finally arrive and I could finally feed the literature-hungry monster that had been going rampant inside of me for these past few weeks 

Febie's Personal Bookclub List for Fall/Winter:

• The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
• Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
• The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
• The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
• It's Kind of A Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

Those and a monthly dose of Nylon and (hopefully) i-D, since I can't find any single store in Medan which actually sell the magazine.

Oh, and meanwhile, I have to live with only suxx TV and old DVDs while trying to survive the weekend. Have a great one, y'all!

A sAd ST0rY~~*

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.

Boy: I know.

Girl: I love you!

Boy: I love you more, much more!

After surgery, the girl woke up, only her father is next to her bed.

Girl: Where is he?

Father: You don't know who gave you the heart?

Girl: What? (She starts crying)

Father: Loljk. He went to the toilet

THEEND

(lawl. I was bored, k)

Fluorescent Adolescent

I gave the DIY article in the NYLON's August issue a try, and even though the end result almost fail epically (almost), I thought it won't kill if I post the tutorial here just for the sake of it. So here's how to make the awkward looking shorts that those fat and bald men in Bali often use:

The essentials:

• a copy of NYLON's August issue for (extra) preference (optional)
• a pair of light-color jeans
• Acrylic paint, preferably neon colours, more preferably neon yellow (I can't find a fabric dye, but acrylic does the same job)
• cheap brush. seriously. it's only for a lame shorts.
• paint for pattern, in different colour
• Kings of Leon's "Come Around Sundown" to scream along to (optional)

The steps:

1. Cut your jeans into the preferable length of your choice. I made mine short since long pants in neon yellow is just too much. Like really.

 

2. Soaked your jeans in a bucket filled with water mixed with the paint. I let mine stay in there overnight just so the colour would be absorbed thoroughly.

3. Take the pants out of the water, rinse it with cold water, and let it dry for a while before you could do the most vital part of this experiment: which is to spray the paint all over it.

Words of wisdom from me: if you don't have the "art hands" just be really careful, or else it'll look horrid if the paint is not spread out evenly.

 So, of course, I failed epically in step 3 since I definitely do not have the "art hands". And so here's the end result of my fail shorts.

THEEND *winkwink